August 12th

Shit man.

Shit.

Life's been not so good. Things with my parents have been... well they're always bad, but things have been worse than usual. I no longer live with them. I talked back and they kicked me out so I just left.  Were on decent terms though so thats good I guess. We're working on our relationship until things are good enough to live together again. I'm staying with the Underwoods and I love it. I feel horrible though, I  think I'm stressing them out and thats the absolute last thing I want to do. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I feel horrid.

On top of that there's my job, which might not exist after tonight. I feel so fucking bad and it's all my fault. My schedule has been eternally fucked and now so am I. I don't know how this happened, I feel so horrid. I fucked up for like the 3rd time today. I want to throw up. I hope I can make things better. Ive listened to every Pierce the Veil album ever written, it's bad man, its bad.

Soccers been good. I think I'm gonna make JV for sure, so thats a good thing. it feels good to be getting back into shape too. That makes me happy.

Me and Phil are so good. I love it. We went through a very rough phase and almost broke up, but he asked if he could call me and we talked until 3 am and for some reason that made things better. He makes me so happy and I could spend every day of my life with him. But I don't expect to and people don't understand that. I'm fifteen, I'm not about to get married. He makes me happy and thats all that matters. I love him so much, but I don't know how things will work in the school year. We'll find a way though, we always do

Today's been weird. Failed a math test. That sucked a lot. Found out my ex-boyfriend is not so innocent. Like damn kid. Hopefully get to see Phil soon. I miss that kid like hell.

March 12th

Guess who almost started bawling during math again? But not for reasons most would expect. I mean of course geometry induces tears, but I can't even look at the fucking clock anymore. It was 2:22. Last time I looked at the clock and it was that time a cute boy I'll never see again was pointing it out.

I can't even write things in my journal anymore because turns out my moms been snooping. And there were things in there that I have never told anyone, much less that I would tell my over-protective, condescending mother. Hopefully I'll be able to use it to my advantage. Hopefully one day I can look at the clock and not be reduced to tears. So for now I'll just pretend like someones actually reading this, because while I'm writing completely false entries I should probably actually write something I mean once in a while.

I always used to wish my life was more like those stupid teenage books I used to read in middle school, and now it's more like that than I could have ever guessed and it's really not that great. I mean, last Friday night involved milkshakes, cops and no pants...

 ...and I really wish it was as made up as it sounds.